Image via WikipediaNancy Grace, in an emotional phone call aired on her HLN show November 29th , brought to light the sheer terror that comes with the thought of hearing , "You have cancer." It served as a good reminder for both family members and oncology care professionals alike of how very frightened, even the most seemingly composed patients, really are inside. And that how well professionals and family offer support during those fragile few days and weeks ahead... can make all the difference in the world to the patient.
For anyone who has been recently diagnosed, here is some helpful advice excerpted from an audio ebook program compiled from interviews of some of North America's best oncologists as well as from veteran survivors, called How to Survive Breast Cancer.
So how do you cope with the news of your diagnosis, especially in those first few days and weeks?
Your first task is to get back to the kind of mental and emotional shape you were in before you were told
you had cancer. Because suffering from the pronouncement of the diagnosis itself is not only
detrimental to your body and its ability to defend itself; it’s detrimental to every decision you must
make over the next few weeks. Even if the people around you freeze with fear, you need to give
yourself permission not to feel that you have to get all morbid or serious.
Ask yourself, “What has always worked for you before during times of great stress?” We all have
different coping strategies and some ways work better for some than others. This is not the time to hit
the self-help section of your bookstore because there is no one size fits all. Do not argue with success,
no matter how others may judge your behavior. Just do what works for you. Otherwise, you’ll find it
very hard to get beyond the shock of your diagnosis.
In fact, as a cancer volunteer once put it this way to a newly-diagnosed patient, “Put yourself first. if you want to get through this.”
What she meant was: Give yourself permission to feel whatever you need to feel. Permission to cry.
Permission to be mad as hell. Permission to NOT be strong; or to be strong. Permission to be whatever
you need to be at any given moment. Whatever you need to do to get to the place where you can own
up to the fact that it’s your body and your life, so you can confront your disease and deal with it in a
manner that is entirely comfortable for you, even if no one else understands your way.
And if you fear your family can't handle your emotions, then consider finding somebody who is outside of your immediate family that you can talk things over with. An oncology social worker or counselor or someone in a local cancer support group or online cancer community. Then you can share what you’re bottling up inside without worrying how it may affect the people you love.
Not only will the load feel lighter, but when you begin to help yourself, when you begin to take
responsibility, something deep inside will know what’s best for you. And if we all followed that advice,
we wouldn't go too far wrong.
0 comments:
Post a Comment